SEX AND DOING IT / Fisting

 

SEX AND DOING IT

Fisting

Some of us get turned on by taking as much of a hand as far inside the ass as possible.

Practice is the name of the game and – although you might never want to fist – almost everyone can accommodate at least a few fingers.

To get a fist in and out safely does require more effort, time and concentration on the part of both partners and recognition that there are risks (more of this later).

 

In this section the term ‘fister’ has been used for the person giving the fist, ‘fistee’ the person receiving.

 

While there are obvious benefits to fisting with an experienced partner, learning with another novice can be just as safe and horny.

It’s advisable to take some time to get to know each other, and to try and discover each other’s fantasies.

Whatever happens it is important for both of you – but particularly the fistee – to feel relaxed and comfortable.

 

Foreplay should never be underestimated in helping develop a sense of rapport, trust and humour.

Codes or ‘stop/start rules’ are essential and should be agreed beforehand.

 ‘Stop’ from a fistee means stop immediately and ‘out’ means out, albeit very slowly and with extreme care.

The important thing is to talk about what you want and not to assume or guess.

If a person allows you deep into their body, they are putting a tremendous amount of trust in you.

Be extremely gentle and cautious and take all movement slowly. Sudden movements can be painful, can tear the rectal wall and cause serious injury.

The more you go in, the more you will find yourself pressing against your partner’s organs, so take great care. If the fistee wants you to be up there, he will encourage you.

 

If you fist beyond the rectum you may encounter several problems. There are no receptors to register pain above the rectum.

Perforations and subsequent bleeding can go unnoticed for several hours. You’re more inclined to press against and bruise other body organs. You may damage the upper sphincter muscle so that it doesn’t close properly (but still has to regulate shit passing between the sigmoid colon and rectum) which can result in leaks or shitting yourself.

 

If you’re fisting ...

Firstly, if you’re into controlling others in sex or if your trip is power, then don’t fist unless it is part of an agreed scene.

When you’re buried inside someone else, it’s the fistee that allows you the privilege of being there. They are putting trust in you that you will respect their vulnerability and together create a combined energy that neither of you could ever create on your own.

A good fister is totally focused on the needs of the fistee and is aware that each partner is different physically and mentally.

There is no best way to do anything and using a particular technique on one person may not work on another.

Before you start, choose which hand you’re going to use. A combination of fisting and then wanking with the same hand could increase the risk of infection both ways.

Remove all rings, jewellery or sharp objects which may cause damage or just get lost!

 

Entry

Cover your entire hand and partner’s arsehole with a generous coating of lubricant. Then slowly press in and out with one finger.

When there is no resistance, increase to two. Try using just a thumb, using its base to broaden the opening further, twisting slowly.

When your partner is ready, gently work in three fingers until you find yourself in to the knuckles.

Each time you come out add more lubricant making sure there’s lubricant ahead of you. This will prevent drying out which can cause major discomfort for both of you.

Initial opening up is often a slow process. Never rush, savour the moment and take your time. Do not assume that gaining entrance (past your knuckles) to the rectum will be quick and easy. It is often the greatest challenge for fisters and the most likely point when inexperienced fistees will want to have a break or stop altogether. Before gaining full entry into the rectum, find an angle of approach that fits most comfortably and try to avoid pushing against any bony structure.

Often the most sensuous moment of the session is the gentle slide of your hand into the cavity. If they take them, some fistees like their first hit of poppers at this point. Enter just as slowly as possible allowing your partner to savour the moment. Once inside, rest a few seconds until your partner’s body has had time to adjust. To confirm adequate relaxation, it may be appropriate to come out completely, slowly and carefully, and re-enter again. Above all, be sensitive to the needs of your partner and you’ll know what to do when you get there. Your hand is now situated in your partner’s rectum which will expand on stretching.

Having entered the rectum you should curl your fingers to make a fist with your thumb inside, although practice will provide variations on this. Once you’ve settled inside, a gentle in-and-out motion (without pulling out of the cavity) will usually help your partner relax. Taking cues from your partner, allow yourself to be subtly creative, changing the speed, twist and depth.

As you gently work yourself inside, allow your hand to open slowly. Then go slowly – and gently – feeling your way deeper into the passage. Your partner will probably let you know with groans and moans whether to proceed or stay right where you are. Also he will tell you when it’s time for a break, perhaps having cum, or being sore, or exhausted, or just in need of a rest from the overwhelming experience and emotion. Sometimes you’ll be the one who initiates the break, realising that your partner is overdoing it or that your hand is getting dry. Sometimes, you will reach orgasm or just run out of energy. Your break may be for a few seconds or may signal a major rest period, or perhaps your partner may have had enough for that session. As you become more experienced with each other, fisters will be able to gauge how much the fistee can take in a session. A thoughtful fistee will also make sure to see to their partner’s needs.

If you’re getting fisted ...

In theory, almost anyone can take a hand inside the rectum although few people have the ability to relax enough to do it easily or at will. The technique is about learning to relax and let go rather than stretching the anal canal – allowing your arse muscles to accept entrance from the outside with the same ease they allow release from the inside.

Practice

You can loosen up by using increasingly larger dildos and butt-plugs. A more effective way is to increase control of your sphincter muscles by exploring your arse with your own fingers, (clean and lubed of course). Once again – practice is the name of the game. Explore gently, see how this part of your body reacts to deep breathing or thoughts of fear and relaxation.

Remember: go slowly, take your time and don’t push. It’s not a race or competition. If your arse feels threatened or attacked it will react in fear and tighten up. (As mentioned earlier douching will help familiarise yourself with your arse – getting a sense of where things are and their dimensions). With greater control dildos and butt-plugs will be more pleasurable and give you experience in stretching and taking more and more inside you. A fistee needs to remain relaxed, which is helped by practice. Breathing deeply, rather than holding your breath, will often help. You should be pulling or willing your partner in so that there’s no need to push. Sometimes pushing out, as if shitting, then pulling in can make a difference.

As a fistee you have a responsibility to let your partner know if you’re okay. You should also be aware that your partner may need a break and has needs of his own which a considerate fistee will attempt to meet. If you sense or feel discomfort or have pain, tell your partner to slow down, take a break or stop. It’s your body – if it’s telling you something, listen.

Pain could mean that you’re going to be sore later. More importantly, if your partner isn’t listening or thinks he knows better, question whether he’s suitable and maybe suggest he takes his frustrations elsewhere. Ultimately, it is trust – the absence of fear – that not only makes taking a hand possible but makes it the great experience it can be. You also have a responsibility to let your partner know when it’s feeling good. Support them all you can: maybe talk, moan or groan, or if you can touch him respond to movements you can feel inside.

Blood, soreness, pain and damage

A little soreness is common and usually goes away in an hour or so. It may also indicate that your partner went in or came out a bit too fast. The most common feeling is that your arse feels like it is 'purring' like Eartha Kitt which we think is faintly humorous to those of us who have been around the block a few times. Sometimes air will have worked its way into the system, but this will feel no different from standard gas pain and will work its way through in time. Once the prostate and bladder have been stimulated, it’s also common to feel the need to piss afterwards and often not be able to do so easily.

There are risks associated with fisting, including perforations in your lower intestine. These may be little fissures or splits or can range from bleeding to a prolapsed rectum requiring surgery. You should not underestimate any of these problems or complications. This is usually as a result of the fister being unnecessarily rough or the fistee being too drugged-up to recognise their limitations. A tear or perforation may not be noticed for an hour or two. Internal pain (that often increases over time) and/or undiluted blood is an indication of damage.

Don’t hesitate to seek medical help immediately. Try not to be embarrassed or apologetic if you have to go to an Accident and Emergency Department. Although hospital staff may think what you’ve done is strange, they should deal with you professionally and will have very possibly seen it all before. If you have perforated your bowel going to hospital can save your life.

 

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